When you are walking through a dark valley or when the circumstances in your life are not making sense, it’s vital to ask the right questions. What kind of circumstances? I’m talking about living every day with a disease such as diabetes or cancer, relationship issues, or any other life difficulty.

I was reading through the psalms in the Bible one day and came across a very relevant passage. It seems the people, in the midst of difficult and seemingly unfair life situations, were dismayed and confused. “Does God realize what is going on?” they asked. “Is the Most High even aware of what is happening?” (Psalm 73:11, New Living Translation).

This is the question many people still ask. I’ve found through my experiences that this is especially true for those who follow God from arms length, people who may associate themselves with God somehow, because of their upbringing, perhaps, or maybe simply because they would not call themselves atheists. The same is often true for the Sunday-morning church-goers who have never counted the cost of being an authentic follower of Jesus.

People look at their circumstances and ask, “Where is God in all this?” But when we ask such a question, it reveals more about our own hearts than it does about God.

Let me explain what I mean. When I am walking closely with God–making my relationship with him my #1 priority, I don’t ask that question. I know God knows what’s going on, because I’ve talked to him about it, and I know he was listening. I know he is aware of what is happening because I know he knows everything. I know he cares about the situation because I know he is my loving Father; he is a compassionate shepherd who wants to give us peace and rest. I know he can change the circumstances if he chooses to, because he is all-powerful. But that doesn’t mean I don’t still have questions. I do.

And so this raises the question that I do ask. This comes from my journal during a particularly tough time during my life:

God, I don’t understand. In my human understanding, I don’t know how this is all going to work out and I can’t see how you are working in this. What are you doing? How are you going to work all this out for the good? Please, Lord, show me just a sliver of your plan and purpose.

 Regardless, Lord, help me to hang on and to continue to trust in you, to continue to trust in your timing….

The interesting thing is that the questions I ask God can actually draw me even closer to him, which, I believe, is part of God’s big-picture purpose when we walk through these dark valleys. Later in that same psalm, the writer said, “Yet I still belong to you; you are holding my right hand” (v. 23). I love that image. Even, perhaps especially, when life circumstances are hard, God is that close. He’s holding my hand.

Are you struggling? Talk it out with God. Discuss it with a godly friend. Find a group who will support you and allow you to ask tough questions. Stretch out your hand. Let God hold it … and you. You are not alone.